From stars to self - Carving out direction in your life
“What you seek is seeking you” - Rumi
It Started with One Question: What Do You Want?
Sitting on the grass one day a heavy weight landed on my chest:
“What do you want in life?”
I had turned 29 recently and was just realizing that I’m pretty damn close to hitting what is probably the mark for a third of my time in this existence.
Scary...
This post began as a personal quest for clarity and ended up transforming how I see my path forward.
And I hope it's able to add some value to your own journey as well.
The Fear of Choosing Wrong
I choke. Mind in blank… or should I say in overload? This set of words put together has always made me feel nauseous, heavy. I've had so many ideas I wanted to pursue—too many for my own good.
Even just thinking about going all in on something has always been like injecting a full vile of tingling fear into my veins:
What if whatever I choose makes me miserable? What if I'm kidding myself and I’m no good at it?
Ok but, at some point a choice has to be made, right? It’s either that or floating around, reacting to what happens.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but if you’re like me, you feel drawn to create an intentional existence—to make the most out of the project of your life.
A New Perspective: Changing the Question
Starting from the roots
Languages are the lenses through which we encode existence. So, I turn to etymology:
What do you “want”? actually translates to “What are you lacking?” since “to want” comes from a german root that conveys the meaning “to lack”. I'll probably rant about this some other time, but I realized this was a question based on scarcity.
So I pivot…
What do you:
wish
desire
strive for?
Desire catches my eye… turns out it comes from latin de- + sidus (from the phrase de sidere, which translates to "from the stars")
De- sidere = it’s written in the stars
OK English. That’s cool.
Stemming Out: What about it?
This is saying that what you’re drawn towards comes from the stars. It’s taking you back to the core of your essence. After all, aren't we made up of what stars are made up of?
"We are a way for the universe to know itself. Some part of our being knows this is where we came from. We long to return. And we can, because the cosmos is also within us. We're made of star stuff,"
- Carl Sagan, The Cosmic Connection.
If you dare to ask yourself “What do I desire?” you're asking, “What am I made of, and what can I create with it?”
We can’t encapsulate our life’s purpose in one elevator pitch, of course we exist to do many different things. But having a general direction—a motto, a mission, a north star—can be incredibly useful.
Desire as a North Star
The thing about this is that you can't fake it. It’s raw and deep-rooted, so close to your core that it can almost feel painful. Real desire has the power to truly alter your reality once you set it in motion.
Whether you realize it or not, that might scare the shit out of some part of you.
What you truly desire will inevitably push you outside your comfort zone—it's a genuine call for adventure. But we often suppress it’s powerful energy out of fear of discomfort, change, or my personal favorite: the unknown.
❋ The silver lining ❋
Even just consciously acknowledging an idea of your desires is a step in the right direction. The key is learning to tune in, to recognize them, and slowly reclaim the power to shape your life.
Practical ways to tune into Desire
If you made it all the way here, you're not only half way through (yay) ✦ you're also you’re in for three tips I’ve distilled from years of personal inquiry:
#1 Start from What You Know
Take stock —where are you right now? What do you already know about yourself? What interests, strengths, or skills do you already have?
❋ IKIGAI❋
You might have heard about the Japanese concept of 生き甲斐 IKIGAI. When I first attempted it, I honestly found it more overwhelming than helpful. But after a few iterations it dawned on me that I was not doing it quite right.
Be careful not to confuse your IKIGAI with external success. I realized I was too focused on how to create my financial freedom, when the real meaning breaks into:
“iki” = to live
“gai” = worth
It’s really asking, “What makes life worth living?”—not “What will make me the most money?”
IKIGAI is more about creating life satisfaction from knowing you're doing what feels right for you, not about chasing success defined by society.
Here are some of these insights added onto the popular framework:
#2 Get a hold of your blind spots
The thing about tip #1 is that we often can’t see the full picture because we're too close to our own lives.
Which is actually a good thing—it means there’s room for other perspectives.
❋ Dare to ask ❋
If you’re lucky enough to have people around you who genuinely care about you, first: consider yourself lucky (and maybe extend some gratitude for that), and second, ask people you trust to have your best interest in mind and to be honest and direct:
What do you see that I don’t?
These are some of the questions I asked my people, and you’d be surprised how much valuable insight you can gain from this exercise:
What would you say is unique about me?
What do you think is my greatest strength or talent?
If you could see me in a dream job or role, what would it be?
What would you say is my biggest blind spot or area where I could grow? OR What habit or behavior do I currently have that, if left unchecked, could prevent me from living a fulfilling life?
How would you "pitch" me to someone who doesn’t know me? (In a single phrase)
What impact do you believe I currently have on others, and how could that be amplified?
Make sure you have a steady sense of self before diving into this exercise. Use these answers as supportive information to what you’ve already discovered in step #1, not as your primary guidance. You’re looking for blind spots, not projections from others.
#3 Tune out to tune in
The thing about both tip #1 and #2 is that they don’t provide a clear solution to account for The Noise.
The inter connected world is a double-sided sword. It has expanded our worlds and experiences, but it has also flooded them with stories, ideas, and expectations that we unconsciously adopt from the zeitgeist. No light comes without its shadow, right?
How difficult it is to tune into your true desires when the world bombards you with endless possibilities?
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to tuning out the noise, because we’re all wired differently. What I’ve found helpful is defining an anchor, something that you trust is coming from pure, internal guidance.
❋ Excitement as compass ❋
While you might be able to fake excitement for others, you can’t truly fake it for yourself.
To "excite" comes from the Old French exciten, meaning "to move, stir up, instigate"—excitement basically refers to what stirs you up, what moves you from the inside out. It’s a reliable tool for aligning with your desires because when you’re excited, you jump into action without hesitation. When you're excited, you can’t wait to do the actual thing—the last thing on your mind is whether or not you should be doing it.
It’s not about what makes logical sense; it’s about what stirs that inner spark. That spark is your anchor.
Here’s a simple exercise I’ve used to tune in to it: While embracing silence, sincerely ask yourself with both curiosity and openness:
Does this make me feel excited?
Imagine yourself doing the thing you're considering, and pay close attention to how your body feels. If there’s a lightness or a pull toward it, that’s your body’s way of telling you it’s meant to move you forward.
All Roads Lead to Trust
So, you’ve sat down, done the work, and ventured deep into the inner workings of your desires. Great job... now what? Clarity and security where you at?!
AHA, a little caveat: you don't get to see the full picture.
The concept of yin and yang—the dance between order and chaos, the known and unknown—isn’t just philosophical. It’s the blueprint of how our reality works.
We operate at the intersection of clarity and the unknown. We’re never going to fully know what we’re supposed to do, and that’s the point.
Maybe this process of figuring out life is a cycle—a reconnection to your inner voice, followed by release into the unknown.
This constant interplay between clarity and uncertainty can be freaking overwhelming, but it’s part of the process.
So, let’s revisit where this all started: What if you're wrong? What if you’re kidding yourself and you’re actually no good at it?
Here’s the thing—You’ll get to learn why, and then you get to pivot.
“Doubt is a one hundred percent trust, in a belief you don't prefer. You are never really actually in doubt. You are always completely trusting in something.”
— Bashar
It’s funny how this journey started with the belief that clarity would cure my underlying anxiety. But in the end, it wasn’t clarity that I was seeking—it was a home coming to TRUST.
Choosing and committing to something in life doesn’t mean there’s no room for change. It means trusting that you’ll adapt, pivot, and grow along the way.
You have the power to choose what you trust—so why not choose to trust yourself?
So, What Do You Desire?
The reason I even get to delve deep into this inquiry is because I have a roof over my head, food on the pantry and safety in my surroundings.
I get to ask these questions, and I refuse to feel guilty about it anymore. I'd rather feel responsible for them and make damn sure that I'm going to do something worth the while with this privilege.
Because the most selfless thing the individual can do for the collective is to attend the inner call of desire... to face the truth within themselves and embark on the adventure of their life.
It starts with daring to ask: What life are you creating with what you're made of?
At least for me, it starts here—with the undeniable desire to create beautiful, meaningful things that ignite emotion, connection and inquiry when people interact with them. The details of the plan are a mystery to me now, but I've come to trust that as long as I keep showing up, the path will reveal itself, because it's already written in the stars.
❋ What is written in the stars for you? ❋
@natabeneitez and her Sharing of this profound personal alchemical journey, transforming raw life experiences into golden wisdom. Much like ancient alchemists who sought to transmute base metals into gold, she dives into the soul's depths, extracting valuable insights through her own inner work and spiritual explorations.
This is not just a post—it's a testament to the opus magnum of personal evolution. The wisdom she offers isn't merely theoretical or abstract; it's a living, breathing testament to the alchemical processes of inner transformation. From understanding cosmic forces to manifesting personal direction, she is sharing the "gold of gold"—the distilled essence of her trials, triumphs, and inner revelations. This alchemy, where the stars align with the self, points toward a rare and precious kind of knowledge, forged in the furnace of personal experience.
10/10 Will Do Again